how i hate being in LOVE!! (again)

ugh!!

Here i am again! Being in love again with the same kind of guy! The same guy...so numb, so dumb, so...everything!!!! I hate them!! But tell me why do i love this guys? Is there something wrong with me that I always fell in love with liars?? OK...I thought, I really thought that I will never be in love after my "breakup" with my ex..but, hello, here i am again...in LOVE!! Let me tell you the story of my ex...

It all started when I'm in 4th grade...and that time, i really don't have ANY interests in crush, boys, and even LOVE..i don't believe in such dumb thing. All i want is for my parents to be proud of me as their daughter, be proud of me! That's all I want in my life...but I'm still human, i still have this crush, and OK, hes my ex...i have a crush on him that year, 4th grade (that's the time he enrolled in my school). And the time our teacher introduced us to him, and he introduced himself to us, he really got my attention. But, it's not a crush as in I'm obsessed in him? No way, girl! I kinda thought that time that my crush on him is just....just for fun...so I can have something to think on when I'm doing nothing except studying...so that's what happened...

When I reach 6th grade, I still have this crush in him, and it's still the same, just for fun...and accidentally, we became friends..it's not that it's a great deal, but I really don't like boys that time..so its really a surprise for my friends when I befriended or some guy befriended me. So that's when my bestie's have a hint of my crush on him..so time went, and its only 4 months before our graduation...when my best friend, Kyle (she's a girl) accidentally slip and told me that my ex, also had a crush on me...since fourth grade!!! God, I was soo shocked...so this boy had a crush on me, huh? At first I don't believe her, but when the whole class know it, every time I am near my ex, they tease me..so, I just tell him that we'll just communicate through cellphone...so we exchange numbers and we text...we really got close in text without anyone (even my bestie's knowing it)...then, on Christmas Eve, we really text each other ALL DAY, nonstop...were like a couple..Then he just asked me, if we are already a couple...SHUCKS!! I don't know what to answer...i stop texting him for about 2 hours..thinking about what to answer him...then, this feeling overpower me, and I thought, I'M IN LOVE!!! So i just called him through land line...and there I answer him..haha...he's so happy, and me too!! I never know my crush on him would be develop like this..so, when the comeback to school happened, we really make a cute couple in the campus...w/o my parents knowing it...

I began spending more of my time with my ex that my parents began noticing my grade failing...they asked me about it so i tell them the truth....i was so afraid they would get mad at me, but, boy, they say they were happy for me!! God!!

The graduation was nearing, only 2 months left...me and my ex would soon be apart...because he was telling me that he will be transferred because his father was assigned to another state here in my country..so, except of crying, i just told him that we better do everything we want before we part...that's what happened..

But I still didn't tell you what made me hate my ex the most that I really regret even having those good memories w/ him...EVERYTHING HE TOLD ME WAS NOT TRUE!! That his father was assigned to another state...that's a lie!! Because when I accidentally met her mother at the mall, we had a chat at a restaurant, and she tell me that my ex want to transfer school..so it is that stupid bastard who want to transfer school..i was so shocked again..i didn't go to school for about a week...and when i showed up, that lying guy fake a concerned face! I was so disgusted just seeing his face so I slap him, tell him all the lies he tell, telling him all the things her mother tell me...I didn't give him the chance to talk but I don't care whatever explanation he would give me..I DON'T CARE ABOUT HIM ANYMORE!!! So, after that breakup, i cried and cried...I even repeated two movies in the movie land...because that is my hiding place...there i cried silently...

so, now...after that tragic incident in my love life, i created a vow to myself never to love a lying bitch again....but one day, I DID IT AGAIN!! I love again another boy..now, I still don't know what will happen to us...he just made me cry...after two years of having a crush on him, all he made me do is to cry, to cry, cry, and cry a little more...and cry again...

I hate being in love!! But it gives me pleasure having someone to think to...what will i do???

ugh!!